WiThOuT yOuR WiNgS
by Mina Donacik
Summary: TwO sOuL mAtEs RiPPeD ApArT By dEaTh. HiToMi wIll FoLLoW vAn AnYwHeRe, EvEn To ThE GrAvE. WiLL a UnEaRtHlY ViSiT ChAnGe hEr mInD AnD pUt HeR SoUl At EaSe?


WARNING: This story contains a lot of gore, blood, and death. If you're not comfortable with these issues, please do not read the story.  
  
Darkness. She sat in absolute darkness. The sound of her crying was the only thing to keep her company. She sat on the empty bed. His empty bed. Where he slept before he wasn't allowed to anymore. Before he was.... no she wouldn't say it. It was too horrible. She wiped her hand sloppily across her face cleaning away most of the moisture but within seconds it was back. She just couldn't seem to stop crying. She was exhausted but she didn't dare sleep. If she even thought about closing her eyes, she would remember. She would remember exactly what she saw and exactly what she felt and exactly what she could never have back. That horrible night that took him from her, that killed her soul along with him. There was a knock at the door but she ignored it. Closed her eyes and remained as quiet as she could, praying they would go away. She couldn't handle seeing anyone, seeing that outside of this room light still existed. That air still circulated and the sun still shined, most of all that people went on living, never knowing what she had lost and never being affected as she was. Another knock, another prayer for them to leave. Finally, a voice. "Hitomi, I know you're in there. Open the door." She knew the voice. Allen. He had experienced the same loss as she had. He had lost him just the same; only she refused to accept that anyone knew how she felt. Without him she was alone and she was going to stay that way. "Come on, Hitomi, don't do this. I know you hear me." He spoke again. He let out a sigh when she didn't answer. "Alright listen, if I guess what you're doing will you let me in?" He was answered by more silence. "Okay, you're sitting on the bed, you're..curled up in a ball, knees to your chest, ankles crossed. One arm is draped over your legs and the other is playing with the fringe at the bottom of the sheets. You're wearing the same thing you've been wearing for the past three days, you're eyes are twice their size, and you're holding your breath hoping I'll leave. Let's see...oh yeah, and you're staring at his pillow, crying." He finished. There was silence for a few more minutes and just as he was about to give up, he heard the lock click. The door opened slowly and Hitomi stood on the other side, wearing the same thing she had been for the past three days and her eyes swollen from crying. "You're too good at that." She whispered to him. "Hey, I only know cuz I've been doing the same thing." He gave her a sorrow filled smile. She nodded and he moved in to hug her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she began to cry again. "I can't do this anymore." She cried harder. "Shhh, it's okay." He cooed as he stroked her back. "No." She broke away from him quickly and returned to the bed. She curled up once again with her knees to her chest and her one hand playing with the fringe on the sheet. Her gaze rested upon his pillow and she continued to cry. Allen stood in the doorway, watching her, the events of that night playing over in his head.  
  
He was too late. Maybe if he had gotten there just a little earlier he could have done something. He made his way through the dead army of Zaibach warriors. Blood and destroyed Guymelefs were all he could see for miles but one in particular caught his vision. Escaflowne. Half of her was demolished, would take years to fix. Blood dripped from every opening of her and Allen's heart jumped into his throat. He raced toward Escaflowne as fast as his legs would carry him and with all his might lifted open the chest plate. He let out a deep breathe and a little chuckle, Van was not in it. He thanked God and continued his search for the Fanalia king and Hitomi. That's when he caught sight of Dilandau. He was on his back, in a pool of his own blood, a huge gap in his chest, one that was unmistakably made by Van's sword. Allen closed his eyes to try to get the image out of his head and that's when he heard it. It sounded like crying. He opened his eyes and his whipped around. There, about 30 feet away, was Hitomi. She was sitting in a curled position rocking back and forth. Her back was to him so he had no idea what she was doing. He ran for her and as he got close enough to see over her shoulder, his breathing stopped and he fell to his knees. Van's lifeless body laid in his lap, his wings lay behind her, detached from the rest of his body. His face, his chest, all horrible cut up. But it was the horrible flesh wound in his chest that Allen noticed the most, Dilandau's sword still in him. Hitomi sensed his presence and whipped around. That's when Allen saw Van's sword in her hand, like everything else, covered in blood. "You killed Dilandau?" Allen managed to whisper. Hitomi looked at her hand, at the sword that she indeed killed Dilandau with, and let in drop to the floor. "I watched him rip off his wings, he killed my Van." Hitomi whispered. She then used her free arm to embrace Van harder. Allen remembered he had to pry her away from him, kicking and screaming that night, leaving Van's dead body behind.  
  
He never wanted to leave him there but he had too. He killed himself for it everyday and obviously Hitomi did too. She sat here in complete despair, giving up on life. He wanted to curl up in a ball too, just shut out the world and live in the past. That would be so easy. But he had to be strong, for her. He walked slowly to the bed and sat down behind her. "You can't keep doing this." He told her. "You're killing yourself." "Good." She muttered. "Hitomi!" He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to look at him. "I don't wanna hear that from you!" he yelled. She shrunk away from him and he made a note to soften his tone. "Van wouldn't want that either." He whispered after a minute of silence. "Van would want me to be with him." She started crying again. "Not if it means giving up your life and you know it." Allen told her as he rested a hand on her shoulder. "I shouldn't be here, Allen. It was my fault, I should've been the one who died. It should have been me." She cried harder. "Hitomi, look at me." He said as picked up her face and turned it toward his. "This is not your fault. First off, no one expected you to know Dilandau's plans and secondly, there was no way that you could have avoided getting captured." "Fine, I couldn't avoid that but I should've made Van leave me there. If he would've just stayed with Merle and not tried to be the hero he always was, I may be dead but he wouldn't be." "Van loved you Hitomi. A thousand armies couldn't have kept him from rescuing you. That was his choice. The only choice left now is yours." "What do you mean?" Hitomi looked at him and rubbed her eyes. "Van gave up his life so you could have yours, are you going to throw away the most precious gift he could ever give you, or are you going to live it for him?" Hitomi looked down at the floor and then back up at Allen. "Do you think he'll wait for me?" She whispered through her tears. Allen was about to answer her when her eyes rolled back and her body started to shake.  
  
Hitomi found herself sitting in the same bed, in the same position, asking the same question, only it wasn't Allen she was asking. "Will you wait for me?" She cried. He smiled at her as he spread his once again beautiful wings and wrapped them completely around her. "Always Hitomi," Van whispered into her hair, "Always."  
  
"Hitomi!" Allen shook her again. Finally her eyes opened and she sat up. "What just happened? Another vision?" Allen questioned. "I don't know what it was but...everything is ok now Allen." He was confused but he thought it best not to ask questions. Hitomi turned her head to the side and the white reflection on his pillow caught her attention. She leaned over closer to it and picked the feather up between in her fingertips. "Everything's okay now." She whispered again as she held the feather to her chest and finally released the giant breathe she had been holding since Van died. 


End file.
